Jose M.

untitled

Dear God no one ever cared I wish my momma was spared throughout this world with all this diamonds and pearls just to show what I share the world what’s it’s worth I might burst from this goddamn curse this life was never spared it was here to be disbursed just so it can get pop on this block with a glock on my head and take the shot oh momma I need you to guide me to the light show me the way to be bright momma please protect me from the dark knight.

 my momma also a  protector you best better respect her may the gods bless her put her at ease please momma breathe “she told me oh baby don’t cry open your eyes and keep your pride” with her last breath she left from our home I felt so alone but she watches over my brother  niece to keep her at peace man I was so damn weak I couldn’t even speak for the last past week just to see my momma in peace now she can sleep with the angels in the air but all I got is this despair.

I wish I could leave this place and be in outer space to see how my mom doing in the clouds but she’s wrapped in the shrouds it makes my heart break and ache I’m just trying to fit into this place I want to smile again and let my life begin but I got so many fake friends I should make it to trends  it’s just a mask I feel like I’m trash always laughing my problems away but all my feelings getting thrown away like I’m getting played might as well do a trade for life despite if I’m wrong but you know what they all say “stay strong”

but I’m so sad I’m scared of losing my dad because he’s stuck in the past even though it didn’t even last though he laughs about his pain that he gains everyday even though I keep it on the low I want to become  a pro musician but no one wants to listen to my songs I know I’m wrong to believe if I’m strong.

I can’t move on from these marks the devil lurks in the dark Noah can’t protect me if I’m even in the ark let’s see if my heart can spark I don’t think so since it’s stopped at the start man  my life so hazy I don’t think the light can even gaze me man this verse just a phrase to me but why is god so cruel to me why couldn’t you be cool with me I know god you can’t deal with me so you had to take something special from me you wanted me to shed a tear or three please let me be free from these metal chains on me.

It keeps wrapping around me like the curse that surrounds my soul I don’t think I will ever be whole I wish my mother come home and say to me “It was all a dream” I wish I had a team to help me get through these things am I burden or blessed to be a Latin king even if I am a king I can’t bring back the special person that died as a queen.

Jason Carney