An Open Letter To Teddy Bear
I’m sorry it’s been so long since I last held you.
I can’t make any excuses.
I see you daily, you are patient
sat over the blankets of fleece and white, ruling over your throne of cotton and linen sheets,
waiting for the day I come home and pick you up again,
like I used to.
You lay the same way you did in my brown boarded crib,
soft and expectant.
When I would wake up crying and roll over onto you,
you never rolled away.
you dragged at my side through vegetable aisles,
sat next to me at the green plastic covered pizza parlor booth,
under the metal zipper of my Tinkerbell backpack.
And when my child attention span got the best of me,
When I left you alone in the red race car shopping cart,
banged on the glass door of the closed pizza parlor where you lay on the ground of the arcade,
forgot to open the bag when I got home so you could breathe in the day,
you never sank into the
Never left me,
even if I left you.
When I was more concerned with the girls at school liking me,
you remained faithful.
Even though I eventually stopped stuffing you in my school bag,
you were happy to see me when I got home.
I would tell you about the girls pulling at my thin blonde hair,
poking at the sugar devils on my nose,
calling me ugly.
you sat with me exactly the same,
because you would never care what the mirror reflected back at me.
You remain as
Your fur is no longer fluffy and golden,
but rough and dingy,
The stuffing in your neck has
leaving you c r i p p l e d,
unable to hold your head up without assistance.
Your bow tie
fell off years ago.
The plastic black eyes that
rest right above
your nose are almost invisible;
those eyes that have seen so much.
Absorbed my fears from the
my father would never even attempt to fill,
see me in the same pain.
Witness my first love,
watch it f a l l a p a r t,
and wait for me to pick the pieces back up as I
broke my own heart.
As 15 years of life
you took a bigger,
strongerbeating so that
I wouldn’t have to.
But despite it all,
you have aged with
Even as I get older,
that child attention span
comes back to me,
But please know, that even if you’re not always on my mind,
you are the constant,
under my head
when no one else does.