Mi Mi

You write me to give your family closure when you take your life
But I can't help them forget the fact that you weren't happy
I help them realize the truth behind you shutting them out and remember you for who you were
The happy person who always helped out
Some people start off with
"I'm sorry"
After that comes an explanation
"I couldn't take it anymore it was too much to handle. I feel worthless"
Then a plea for forgiveness
"please don't be mad at me find it in your heart to forgive me"
I see the faces of so many beautiful and hopeful people who have cried over the worst things imaginable
The things I've seen can never be unseen
One misunderstood star wrote me about a week ago
She cut that night
Xs filled her arms and legs like a Tic Tac Toe board
Blood drip down her body like the tears on her face
Always hiding the scars from the game she plays every other night
She finally had enough while loading a gun with one bullet she cried
I fell
Then she fell
Her parents ran and with so much fear in their eyes
Fell to the floor beside her
Cradling in her body and calling for help
She's gone
You should have seen the signs
The things I've seen can never be unseen
A business man wore a suit everyday
But today was different
He didn't get out of bed for work
Later that day he took out a pen and a notepad wrote down his final words
Grabbed me and his keys
Drove to the top of a bridge
Left me taped to the rear view mirror
Climbed on to the ledge
Looked down then jumped
The things I've seen can never be unseen
The pageant Queen wrote me two days before she bought a rope
Set it up as she prayed
Then jumped
As I fluttered from her hand all I could see was every ounce of hope
Leave her face
The things I've seen can never be unseen
I wish I had a so I can close them out to watch every person who writes me kill themselves
I wish they would have crumbled me up and threw me away instead of throwing away their lives

Jason Carney